I had a very big day yesterday. I have been “broken” for a long time now. Although I have been committed to choosing my mindset, overcoming and rising up, my mind and spirit still carried the residue of what my body had been through over the last few years. While I had chosen my perspective rather than wearing the one given to me by others or by my unconscious self, I was still haunted by the events. It is not far fetched or unreasonable that when you go from “wonder woman” to near death in an instant that it would affect you in more ways than one. It is not shocking that the time spent running from annihilation during my coma would leave a trace of darkness somewhere in my psyche. It makes sense that being treated and handled with extreme care and caution following the series of events would become a new way of life. No one would blame me if I stayed in that place. No one would blame me but why would I ever choose to stay there? I think where we typically go wrong is first and foremost in the unconscious. Most of us are living and operating from an unconscious reactionary state. We are unaware of what we are thinking, feeling, choosing, etc. Things begin to change dramatically the day you become a force in your own life and create your life rather than react to it. We look at all the evidence that we have gathered from the current circumstances which are only there based on our thoughts and choices (whether unconscious or not) up until now. The second we choose to change, choose to become the force, circumstances will begin to shift dramatically. We have to give our lives time to catch up before we make conclusions about what it all means.
Let my life be living proof for you. I was not handed anything on a silver platter. No one came to save me. I screamed and yelled at God, I begged God, I ignored God. This Being, this Force, this Entity loved me enough to allow me to save myself. I can only imagine how difficult that would be to watch someone you love so deeply in such despair and not save them from it. But that is a true and deep love. A love that is willing to sit in its own pain so that the object of their love and creation can be truly born. God sat by, and I believe sat directly in front of me breathing love and strength into me while I found my own. You see….my entire life, I was seeking my own strength. On the outside looking in, it could have looked like I had had it. I had my shallow strengths temporarily taken from me so that I could discover the strengths that could never be taken or destroyed. I stand here in immense gratitude for the fruits of that battle, I stand here a butterfly emerged from my cocoon.
I say all of that to say this….Lay your burdens down. Resist the urge to continue hitting the replay button. What happened to you is just that…it happen(ed). Past tense. It was then, this is now. It is over and done. You are not your experiences or your circumstances. You are what you choose to do with and about them. You are who you become from the journey. As a coach and trainer, I am forever hearing people talk about their weak wrists, nagging ankle injury that they have had since childhood. I will never forget an amazing client I had who on day one of training with me spent fifteen minutes explaining every physiological issue they have had since birth involving both their personal and what they believed to be genetic issues. I listened and smiled and led them straight into and through those issues and watched them come out the other side without having to carry those particular burdens any longer. Your freedom is through. Your freedom is in letting go. You are not chained to your finite experiences. You are the creator, you are the author. You have a choice and you have the power. All of my love and light to each and every one of you today. Blessings. SaraMae