The dance

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha.  This moment is all that we have.  Did you smell a flower today, witness a sunset, feel the rain on your skin?  Did you smile at a child, help a stranger, give thanks for yourself?  Would you choose to extract more joy if you knew today were all that you had?  For my entire life, I have been on a treadmill, running mindlessly to the destination–knowing that once I reached that mythical place and point, I would find happiness, peace, joy, contentment…I would achieve bliss.  I negated sunsets, raindrops, lighting storms, all for the future moment in time when I would have arrived, and been more capable of enjoying these priceless aspects of life.  I have no doubt that God invented fireflys and hummingbirds for our wonderment, to enrich our journeys.  On hot, summer nights when we are tired from a long day at work, and we walk outside, exhausted and dejected, only to look up and watch the dance of the firefly as he purely and reverently dances in celebration of his existence in this moment.  We cannot delay joy, scheduling it into our calendars for some unknown date in the future.  Today may really be all that we have.  Today may be the end of our dance.  I lost two very dear people this last year.  One, was my grandfather, a great, loving, funny man.  He was an unforgettable example of living in the moment.  He loved birds, and built birdhouses and hung hummingbird feeders.  He used to watch them through binoculars, and teach me everything he knew about them.  He tended to his garden.  I recall helping him plant corn and roses, and watched him spend hours upon hours in his beloved yard.  He fished.  He rarely brought anything home, but watching him fish was like watching a man meet God…he was in awe, totally present and totally at peace.  I cannot think about him without aching and shedding a tear.  Right before I lost my hero, I lost a dear friend.  Larry.  If you do not know him, no explanation that I have could be adequate to describe his spirit.  Hilarious.  Inappropriate.  Kind.  Unbelievable.  Larry lived every day of his life like it was his last.  Having him as a friend was like being a part of a fraternity.  His spirit was so big that it encapsulated anyone in the vicinity.  You were better and more alive for having known him.  So many times Larry invited me to spend time with his crew, and I put it off for that elusive date and time when I would have arrived, when I would be ready and worthy for joy.  That date never came, and Larry came and went.  Nothing was wrong.  He was here one day and gone the next.  He lived a lifetime in 35 years, and he left those who love him to find happiness for ourselves, but he taught us with his life.  All I can do is carry the essence and examples of these two men in my being, and to give honor to their lives by living the truths that they taught me.  Take time for the simple, yet essential moments of life, and dance in the rain, being authentic to yourself, no matter how inappropriate or outrageous.  Never for a moment stop to care what others think yet live your life honoring and respecting those who share your journey.  Don’t blink for if you do, you will miss a moment that will never come around twice.  Encompass yourself wholly and honestly.  Own who you are and never apologize for who you were meant to be.  Speak your truth.  Live your truth.  Honor your truth.

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"Someone once told me the definition of hell: On the last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become." Anonymous.  And that would be a good place to begin. Often we know not what our purpose is until we think in terms of our eternal purpose. The moment I allowed my mind to expand to eternal proportions, it all came into full view. All of my micro passions and purposes could fall under one heavenly macro purpose banner. To live up to my potential, and pave the way for others to do the same.  As a child, I had an inner fire to learn everything I could to rise above the circumstances I was born into. It was like there was a scream in my soul. "I don't belong here, we don't belong here. Something is wrong here!" As a child I remember knowing I was born to rewrite the story. I can't imagine that is typical of most children. I recall wrestling with the decision between having play dates with friends or reading dates with myself. My mom and I would sojourn to our local library where I would faithfully check out the max number of books as they toppled out of my arms. The majority were non-fiction, particularly autobiographies of underdogs defying the odds.  I was born into two family lines riddled by addiction, anxiety and depression. I remember intrinsically knowing we were made for more. I have spent my life on a mission to choose differently. I have to credit my parents for instilling awareness in me. They had their struggles, but they always reminded me that things can be different. They may not have had the tools or strength to overcome their struggles, but they created a human who could and would. Awareness is half the battle. Too many grow up not knowing any different. They live reactionary lives imitating what they see and all they know. That is why I'm determined to educate and demonstrate that we are the creators of our reality, that we are not limited by circumstance or DNA. We are truly limitless.  I am a voracious reader who reads books that help unlock greatness and point to unlimited potential.  I am a writer who writes with the intention to unlock the inner hero begging to be released.  I am a personal trainer who trains others with the intent to show them that the only limits they have are those in their mind.  I am an athlete who had yet to achieve her potential because her mindset was broken and spirit was in bondage. It was the silent shame I carried throughout my life. I dedicated myself to studying how I could turn that shame into my superpower. I am now an athlete who gets to visibly demonstrate how truly limitless we really are. I am keenly aware that my movement conveys a powerful message. I know others are watching. I know the world needs this wake up call. I know I did.  And I know I haven't even started yet.  So when I nearly died and lost my feet in the process, I knew I was being called to the mat so to speak. I was being offered the opportunity to demonstrate my beliefs for all to see. While I may have felt "why me," my soul knew I had been uniquely prepared for this challenge. My soul said "of course, me." And that was the North Star that guided me through the hell I would have to traverse alone. I set out on a journey with my Maker to find ME. The real me. All of me. Who I was capable of being. Possibly more importantly, I discovered who I WAS NOT. I was refined in the FIRE. I am here by the GRACE of God and the GRIT of myself. I became an alchemist, turning tragedy into triumph, loss into gain, victimhood into victory. I choose carefully for I know that I create my own reality.  PS you can read more about how I lost my feet here:  I am a Speaker. I realize this is bigger than I am. It is my privilege to share my story in a way that conveys hope smothered in tough love and points toward freedom. We are capable of so much more than we can begin to comprehend. We can choose it and we can do so today. We simply need be WILLING, AUDACIOUS and RELENTLESS.  I am a Writer. Writing is where I first tasted freedom. It is where I am all of me, where I speak my full truth, and where I allow God to speak through me. My message bypasses my brain coming straight from my spirit. Heck, it comes from my cells. I write to say what needs to be said. I write not to make one think, but to make one act.  My intention is not to make you feel good, or to think I am smart, but to get off your ass and live your life to the fullest. To live and love today to the fullest because it could be your last. Nothing is promised, not even the next second.  I am an athlete. It is an attitude, a swagger, a philosophy, a belief, a spirit. It is a commitment. Athletes aren't afraid to sweat and get dirty. They aren't afraid to try and "fail" because they know you only fail if you stay on the couch. And you can get off that couch this very second. I will push my athletic ability to the limits, and then I will push past them. There is no time clock, I will do this until the day I die. Where there is breath, there is hope and there is LIFE. I am ALIVE. I do not and I will not take that for granted. I move my body because I am blessed to do so because there are some who can't. There is always someone with less than you have doing more than you are. Make THEM proud. Honor their grit, thereby developing your own. Inspiration is tricky business. I don't want to be called inspiring as you scroll through Facebook. I want to INSPIRE your ACTION. I want to ELIMINATE your EXCUSES. My goals will continue to evolve because once I have ascended one mountain, I celebrate the view and then set my sights on the next. I am a runner with no feet whose wings span wide. I will run far and fly high. I am a trainer.  I am EXCUSELESS. Because I choose none for myself, I will accept none of yours. I am not for everybody, but I am for those who are hungry and committed to radically change their lives.  I am committed to doing my part to radically upgrade the dreams, expectations and lives of the collective whole. My inner hero, free spirit, champion craved existence and simply needed guidance on how to be born. I needed permission. I finally gave it to myself and now I offer it to you. I am here to remind those who need it that we were made for more.  The Phoenix Perspective is a Radical Responsibility Revolution. We have a zero tolerance policy for excuses. We make none and we accept none. Period. We know that we are more than our DNA, more than our CIRCUMSTANCES. We know that life is happening FOR us rather than TO us. We know that dying to who we thought ourselves to be so that we can become who we were meant to be is not only necessary, it is glorious. While it may not be comfortable, we know that the FIRE is our FRIEND. That it is a divine messenger sent to escort us to our higher selves. It is a message, a philosophy, a movement. It is an understanding and a vantage point. It is a challenge and an invitation. It is an initiation. 

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